health diary 101

Sunday, September 23, 2012

I just have a little something to say here...

First of all, although I don't exactly work out or do much (if any) strenuous physical activity, I really do care about my health. I have to. I mean, a few weeks ago there was a huge sale at the Exchange for Labor Day weekend and I got a Wii Fit, opened it, and haven't touched it since, but seriously - I haven't had time! Right after that was graduation and traveling, and we are still traveling right now. We're back in Texas for a couple more days - back to Virginia on Monday - so I haven't updated anything for a while because of that. But soon after I get back I will have a post about our adventures driving across this beautiful state we call home! More about that later...

Even with the Wii Fit sitting there, it still takes a lot of motivation for me to do anything like run, or even pilates. I loved taking a pilates course at A&M for my kinesiology credit, told myself I would do it every morning as a wake-up call, and just haven't kept up with it. The only thing like this lately that I actually have done is climb. Or hike, if you want to call it that. Within this journey across the great state of Texas, we stopped in Fredericksburg at Enchanted Rock - finally!!!! It was beautiful. Breathtaking. Like, it's truly unbelievable. But I'll get into that later..the big point about this is the hiking. It's crazy. Sure there are paths to go up these giant rocky hills, but it still takes work. It was exhausting. But it was so worth it. The view from the top is...wow. I can't even....wow. This took so much out of me though. I basically collapsed when we got to the top. It's just not my thing..this whole..exercise. And there are mighty good reasons for this though, believe me. This is something that Marshall is still having trouble accepting...

And it's not just the whole exercise deal. There's more... the whole alcohol thing. Why? Just simply, why? I don't understand how people can be so thoughtless about what they put into their bodies. First off, drinking is just something I simply cannot do. Even if I wanted to, no. It's never an option. And why is that? Well, it reacts really bad with my medicine..the stuff that keeps my heart from fluttering and making me pass out like I nearly did a couple times my freshman year at A&M. Think about what it actually does to your body. It rots your liver. It's just not something I want to put in my body, with a health condition or not. If I acted like the "true" crazy college student..there is no way I would be here right now. My heart literally cannot handle it. Any of it. Even the smell of alcohol makes me want to throw up, it's that bad. It's a disgusting thing. I am ridiculously sensitive to alcohol. And this goes for all drugs...just no. Don't even think about trying to do or drink anything when I'm around. I will go out of my way to get out of your way. Far out of your way. I am not going to sit around cigar smoke, breathing it into my lungs - which have been through way too much during my 20 years, you don't even know. If you have trouble accepting this..think about it this way.

This is something that has really been on my mind lately, especially with how in tune I have gotten with my body lately. It's ridiculous how much I can feel, you know? Here's the short explanation..Basically, I have this congenital heart disease. I was born with it and it's stuck with me. It's a part of me, and this is why I feel so strongly about all of this. I am here today by the Grace of God helping me through four open heart surgeries. Sure the first three were all before I was 2 years old, and the last one was in 8th grade when I was 13, but it all affects me every day of my life. I have pieces of pig valves inside me, and some other stuff that keeps me alive today. I guess you can say it's a fragile state...

Sure I can still do lots of stuff, I mean I was in soccer and marching band in high school (Only because of how ridiculously awesome I felt, how honestly I could breathe after the last surgery). But the past few years I haven't really been able to keep up with it. Running is too much...I can go for a couple minutes, but then the breathing is just way too overwhelming. My chest gets really tense and it's just, frankly, uncomfortable. It's not something I can do. A stationary bike is alright, but not for too long either. This is why I got the wii fit on that sale..maybe some aerobics or whatever games they have on that will be a way for me to "stay in shape."

This is something that Marshall needs to truly learn and really understand about me. I can't run marathons with him, as he always dreamed he would do with his future wife (Although I still want to run/walk the Disney Half Marathon someday). I can't drink, or smoke, or chew, or do whatever it is people who don't know any better like to do. I'm not trying to bash or anything, but seriously, before you commit to partaking in any of those activities, you should really take time to learn about what it does to your body, or what it can potentially do if it goes too far. If someone like me with this condition can't do any of that, why would you think that a normal everyday Joe can treat his body that way? Why would someone want to put that junk in their body, and let it affect their life, in turn treating this beautiful gift from God like a piece of trash? Think about it. Just, think about it. I can go on for hours about how strongly I feel about this...

Bottom line, these nasty things called drugs and alcohol are a major no-no for me. It's on the never-am-I-ever-going-to-even-think-about-it list. Even if I personally don't do this, which I never ever will, there will still be people around me that I may or may not know that do. I can deal with it if strangers are around, or if we're at some state fair or back in Milwaukee or something, but I can't deal with it if my own husband or friends will treat his/her body like that. Now don't think I'm trying to be the bad guy here, I'm not. I just simply can't be around it, breathe it in, or anything. It's so uncomfortable, as previously explained. And trust me, this is something I have made very clear to Marshall. The other day I think I just closed my case, dotted the i's and crossed the t's on why exactly it's like this. My loving husband just needed a greater push and wake up call to realize that I wasn't trying to "keep him" from doing whatever with his friends, I am looking out for his and my health. If he's doing these things and treating his body like this, well, it's like he's treating me like this. After all, we are married. That's not something I'm comfortable with. Knowing what it can do to me and it's potential, I would never in a million years want Marshall to put himself in that situation. And thankfully, because of how simply and strongly I explained it this last time, we won't have to deal with this again. Praying about it.

We still have a lot to learn in this health/cleansing journey of ours, but we're at a good starting point. A wake up call kind of starting point. All those flutters and scares at A&M I would think have done the trick..but we just needed something a little more. Soon enough Marshall will get that thing to flush out his system of all those nasty MRE's and we'll both be headed to a much healthier and happier life together. We are learning together (as I'm getting Marshall to realize) to take the best care of our bodies...especially considering my history. I have probably another 2+ years till another surgery is needed (so definitely while we're in California)... time to look out for our health and keep away from those...things... I definitely don't want to have to go in sooner, and staying clean together will be a way to ensure that doesn't happen (At least that we can control..) And seriously, I am going to start using the Wii Fit, as soon as we get back to VA!!

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