Easter Grace & testimony pt. 2

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Hello everyone! Happy Easter! Let's not forget the reason for our celebrations - He is Risen!!! By God's grace, Jesus died for our sins, and rose from the dead 3 days later.

Anyone else love Charlie Hall? "Marvelous Light" captures this gracious holiday well - Take a listen!

Into Marvelous Light I'm running
Out of darkness, out of shame
By the cross You are the truth You are the life You are the way
Mark 16:6 states, “Don’t be alarmed,” [the angel] said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him."
Something happened a few years ago near this gracious holiday that will forever change my attitude, in so many words. Anyone remember my testimony which I shared last year? This is on my mind. As I also talked about the other day..
To the point: As you read my testimony, you'll see that there was a time in my life I completely turned things around. For spring break of my freshman year at Texas A&M, I was a part of Aggies in Mission, thanks to my wonderful husband {boyfriend at the time} getting me to join. We went on a mission trip to Amarillo in Texas' panhandle, and served with a center that reaches out to those in need in the region. That entire week of spring break, I was so nervous, because I found out just before that I would be having an MRI to see if I needed another open-heart surgery. The mission trip was Friday-Tuesday, I believe, and the MRI was to be the middle of the week of spring break.  I couldn't contain myself. I didn't know what was going to happen. That was Marshall's senior year, and I didn't know what was going to happen with us, with our relationship, once he graduated and commissioned. I'd been having a lot of health issues that year, switching medicine, countless flutters and gasps for air, and it's just been uncomforatble. I had a halter monitor a little before that, and there were some discrepancies, but they wanted a more thorough report on what was going on with my heart. So an MRI was ordered, for just days after the mission trip.
During the mission trip, I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't keep a straight face. I really needed someone to be there. I was allowing myself to be distracted from mission work that week. Each day we were there, we went to the center for praise and worship. On the last day, something extraordinary happened. The only person who knew about what was going on was Marshall - this isn't something I just went out and told everyone. But we were singing, and something in the lyrics just triggered me, and I broke down. I couldn't contain myself. I was thinking about the MRI and the pain of a potential surgery, I was worried about what was going to happen between Marshall & I once he graduated, I was overcome with a feeling of gratitude. One of the women who ran the center caught me in my time of need and spoke to me words that I have never shared with anyone - Meaning I have never spoke to her about what was going on, but she hit it right on the dot and comforted me.  God spoke to me through her. She said that there's no need for me to be scared about the appointment, for He is with me. But I never told her about it. She prayed with me, opened my eyes. And He saved me from my worry - He was with me at the appointment. He knew that wasn't the time for my surgery, and a few years later it's still not the time, that we know of. How beautiful is God's grace and love for us!
I will never forget that experience, so close to this blessed day.
He has died for us. He is risen. He has forgiven our sins.
Our sinless Savior.
This time 2 years ago, I was saved from another surgery. That wasn't the time.
But I have my cardiology appointment this week, that makes me nervous.
When is the next surgery going to be? From what I've always been told, within this next year...
I don't know what the doc is going to say. I don't know when it will be time again.
I do know that no matter what,  I will hold steadfast to my faith
With the Grace I've been shown in the situation above and my whole life,
there is nothing else I would do except to have faith.
Yesterday we watched The Switch, a move with Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman. It was such a great wonderful movie... I was an emotional wreck. Essentially, Jennifer's character wanted children so she went to a sperm donor, but her best friend {Jason who played the main guy in Arrested Development} essentially replaced that donation, not realizing what he did until later. Basically, later in the movie he realizes that her child is also his, and they realize their love for eachother and end up together. There's a lot more  to it but really it was a sweet movie. But now, well, as I always have, now I want children. But I can't be on this medicine I'm on now, and I have to get the OK from my cardiologist, and I want to be at least student teaching so I guess next year, and there's a lot more that goes into it for us than so for other couples.
Basically, there's a lot that's going to happen in this next year or so:
student teaching, graduation, surgery, and starting a family
Yes, I guess it all kind of rests on my health, but still.
I'll graduate May 2014, but the rest is in the unknown. Only God knows.
I wish He'd show us now, because the nerves kick in at the appointment and it gets difficult to handle the unknown. But He has it all under control.
It kind of bothers me that all of this has to be planned out because of my health. But I guess we're okay with that. That's why I'm kind of nervous about this appointment, I want to know what the verdict is. How much time I have until the next one...Basically if our "plan" is God's plan for us, too. Ideally, I will graduate May 2014 and have the surgery that summer. But my plan isn't the one that counts, it's His plan. I want to know what He has in store for us, and part of this is knowing when I need another surgery. I just want to have it now, so we can start a family and I can graduate. I just want all of that so badly, but I know it's not my choice how our life will turn out, not entirely. Especially after watching that movie, I couldn't contain myself. How beautiful the day will be when we find out that my body can handle it, the day that God blesses us with a child!
I'm sure I will update everyone on what goes on at this next appointment, for I have gotten much more personal on this blog than I ever thought I would. I never shared that with anyone, but now I share it with everyone. I guess that's what happens when you start a blog - it's my blog after all, if I kept this part of it out, then it wouldn't truly be about me. A part of me would be missing, but I want you, my readers, to see the real me. So here I am...all of me.
We went to a new church this morning that our neighbors are a part of, and we really do like it. But we're still in that church-shopping phase, even if we've  been here a month and a half already. I can't help but think about all of this on Easter, for this happened around Easter years past. I started getting emotional in the service, reminding myself of His grace which has been shown to me the past few years..So this is why it's on my mind.
We pray that everyone has a blessed Easter..
.. & don't forget to tune in to the finale of the Bible series on the History channel tonight!!!!


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