judgment made whole

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Judging. Judgment.

We all do it, don't we?

We're only human, we can't help it, right?

But it's there. It's always there.

And when you know, you can feel it, when you're being judged, because of what you said, how much you said, what you've done....

It hurts. It's a strange feeling. Isn't this a safe place, where we can talk to our heart's content with other believers, about our struggles, our input, our experiences?

Why do we have to be judged while we do so?

Why do we, by "instinct," judge others as well?

It's a struggle.

It's a human struggle.

It's been eating at me lately, something I can't seem to get past. I feel judged, I judge others, I am a fallen being.. And others don't mind pointing it out. I don't mind pointing it out either, sometimes. But it hurts... It hurts both parties.

You can't just forgive and forget. We are emotional beings - we forgive but still keep it in mind, and still reference it in the future when we thought that issue was well past us. It's happened before, right? It doesn't hurt to bring it up, if it helps the conversation to some extent (as it seems) right? But it should be past us. We can forgive but we can't seem to forget, especially if it may be relevant to the now.

Knowing when to stop is a good start. But knowing that you feel safe to share would also be nice - and feeling judged sure doesn't help that notion out. But then you're judged because you don't stop, and don't see a reason to. Everyone's an individual, and some don't see in black and white like the rest of us do. We are different learners, different people, with different thought processes.. All unique in the image of him. What a crazy, perhaps wonderful, cycle..

Good intentions sometimes backfire or fail, as I've sure experienced lately. But it's a process. Learning to be more like Jesus, letting go of the world and letting God take over my life. Rush into my life, fill my life with his Spirit -what a joyous, messy process this is!

In this I know that Jesus is King, and he fought for me, he died for me, he lives for me. He loves to see us, as his children, longing for him, fighting for him, believing in him and walking with him in all we do. It's a struggle, but I try my best to do so. And I may be judged in the process, as others watch who don't understand my situation as a whole, but only in pieces that they choose to pick on. Why judge when we are all fallen, when we are all searching and in need of a savior, a light, a peace?

I can look past the judgment, the belittling eyes, and see that as I try to share, as I talk through my own life with others, I become like Jesus, allowing others in to see the full me, the real individual, the part of you that you only share with a few others. That part of me that I try to share with others, but when some hear it, they trickle back and don't want to be a part of it. You don't like my mess? Well, Jesus does. He takes you - the real you - in all your mess, struggles, and judgments and emotions and makes you whole in him. He completes us. You share it all - the hurts, the joys, the struggles, the judgment - with just a few - those you can fully trust...and always Jesus. He is always there, he is always walking beside us.

And if you open yourself up like a book yet feel like you're being judged for who you are, you are being trampled on, and it is hurting your life to share more than giving you peace - then move on. Don't dwell on it. Forgive and move past it - you won't forget, you'll know in the future to be careful about who you open up your messes to - but you can move on. And in the end, all is made whole in Jesus.

1 comment:

  1. I really appreciate this post! The more I grow in faith, I realize how easily I can judge others and how it almost seems like second nature for me. Which is crazy, cause I hate it when others judge me...good words for reflection and prayer! :)

    ReplyDelete

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