Reprise

Sunday, June 22, 2014

My writing on this little old page has been very sporadic lately, and I guess there are a few reasons for that. In all, I'm really trying to decide what I want to do with this public diary of sorts. I mean, I know I don't want to go the route of hosting a giveaway each week with requirements to like or follow, just to get numbers up in "readers." I'm not really looking for my site to get thousands of likes or reads either. It's just an outlet of sorts. But then I start thinking, who am I to put my life out there, and post it online asking (sometimes begging, it  feels like, desperate to get at least one click) for other people to read it, family, friends, and strangers alike... and what is really my goal in that? I mean, didn't I start the Facebook page for this site because I was taking part in a mega giveaway with other blogs...Where the only goal is to get as many followers as possible while giving away a material item? I need to shift my focus here.

Sometimes I stare at the computer screen for hours, editing pictures, writing, editing, re-writing, and finally publishing something.... And never go outside the entire day. That's not how I want it to be- technology needs to take a backseat for a while. This goes for my smartphone too, which means no more words with friends and minimal social media scrolling.... It's definitely a discipline. Look - there's my word of the year again (And yes, it truly has been my word of focus since writing out my resolutions in January) - discipline! I'm sure there are others out there who can relate with this media takeover our culture has experienced and ingrained in us within the past decade alone.

I haven't been writing much not because I don't have anything to write about (yeah, there's definitely plenty to write about!) but rather because I'm not sure what I really want to do. I guess you can say I'm looking forward.

I did start selling my paintings on Etsy, and so far I've gotten a few inquiries and lots of "hits" as you can see in shop stats, but no orders. I guess I haven't sold any then, so maybe I should re-word that one. Should I really sell my artwork and creativity to strangers, or am I just pushing it? Sometimes I wonder if maybe I'm trying to force this little blog and my paintings on others. But I don't want to do that, at all, and that's not my intention - forcing. On the other hand, sharing is, but maybe I should think on that one, too. Both - the painting and the writing - are more of just hobbies, hobbies that I wish I could get paid to do full time - so maybe that's where the unintentional pushing came from. Oh, it would be so nice to get paid to write and paint - perhaps even enough to make a living on that alone. One can dream, right? But no more forcing this stuff on y'all - self-promotion, in so many words. I want to associate furthest from the Pharisees as possible... Not giving in to pushing an agenda here!

This is, in many ways, why I haven't been around much on this blog lately. I'm not sure what I want to do with it - if I want to post the bare minimum -twice a month sounds reasonable, perhaps -mostly pictures and a few sentences about happenings in our nest... if I want to post purely book reviews (because let's be honest, I have enough reviews in the works to post at least 2 a week, or maybe one each day with the amount of books I read), or if I want to go all-out with this thing and try to build a brand and start sponsoring, to make a living through writing here, which will come with a lot of changes, I'm sure. Oh, there are other avenues or ways to blog on the side, but I guess these are the three "extremes" in any direction I'm deciding on taking as a path. Maybe more options, maybe less. I'm not sure where I see it right now. Though I think I'm leaning toward the pure book review site option...

But there is more to the crickets other than this contemplation about the future of this blog site.... We've been pretty busy around here, and that's part of the reason I haven't been around in the interwebs much lately. The stud was overseas on an exercise for a month and got back recently, so during that month my time was full of puzzles, movies, books, and the hammock in our yard.

After the preschool graduation (I'm off until summer camps start soon) my days consisted of church and small group twice a week, going to the beach with Scruffy, cleaning the house and de-cluttering.. Which means boxes of stuff (how did we accumulate so much stuff?) going to the donation truck down the road, and a lot of time of reflection and relaxation.  I did go on a milso retreat for SpouseLink, which I still need to blog about, and that will hopefully come soon!! After graduating, I've been looking forward to next steps - getting certified in Texas and finding a program to allow me, or qualify me, to teach preschool, not just as an assistant (since my major is elementary & special ed.. early childhood is pretty different in a lot of ways).And I've really just been taking a much needed break. It feels good for the first time since grade school to not have any homework to do!

Since he's been back we explored downtown Del Mar, had dinner in downtown Carlsbad, went to the beach, and spent a lot of time in the backyard. It's been nice and relaxing, and we've worked through minor adjustments in each of our schedules since we were apart for that time. But really, a month is nothing compared to what it could have been, so in that respect, we were blessed.

But I'm getting beside myself... Time for some more coffee and to finish cleaning, I think. We'll see what happens in the coming weeks, and if I still feel complacent about it, by fall I may just look toward writing in a moleskin journal for each month with print-outs of pictures to go along - a hard copy blog, like before computers were a thought (so a scrapbook to keep it simple) -  instead of a public online diary. If you did get through all of that, I am curious as to what (if any) readers think! My summer will consist of pondering these thoughts while preparing for family visits and looking toward our next steps in my education, our time in the military, and more. And of course plenty of socal beach time! So no promises on future posts, except of course it is of a SpouseLink recap or a number of book reviews!! I will get to SpouseLink soon!!


And in case you want to know, I titled this reprise, partly because I couldn't think of a name, partly because I feel my head has this thread or chorus repeat (reprise) until I hear it enough times in which I'll know what to do. A reprise essentially means repeat (any musicians out there?), and these thoughts are on repeat and probably will be until I figure out what to do! Perhaps that makes sense to someone who's musically inclined!
 

5 comments:

  1. I feel the same way sometimes....I get so excited and energetic about gaining followers and then I sit back and think, for what? I'm spending too much time on the computer and not enjoying life...I think I'll stick with blogging only about things I really want to write about and experiences that I want to share. No pressure. Ahhhh, feels better already! :) xo, Sarah @movingeastonwest

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  2. I miss your writings! Same with me, I write my blog for my family, friends, and me. If a stranger happens to stumble upon my blog and read it, awesome! My blog's been a blessing in the fact that I can go back and read about our life, and that's why I started blogging! I've never done a giveaway, and I don't plan on it. I don't spend hours on my blog. I post pictures, write about my kids, personal thoughts...whatever...and click publish!

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  3. I feel the same way sometimes with blogging. When I feel overwhelmed with it, I usually take a blogging break. I love reading your "public diary" and would really miss it if you quit, but I totally understand why you want to quit.

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  4. I get exactly how you feel. My little blog has lots of views but rarely any feedback. It's discouraging to say the least. I hope you continue to blog! I just found your blog {because you follow me} and I will definitely be following you on IG.

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  5. I think we all go thru times where we can type up a blog and other times we can't.

    http://nightowlventing02.blogspot.com/2014/07/blog-hop.html

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