learning a simple + natural life

Wednesday, September 5, 2018

With it basically being the fall and headed into a new season, I find myself writing goals and looking forward often..Or at least trying to!. In that thread, I've been focusing on ways to build myself and my boys up - in more ways than one! This involves find "our tribe" here locally, and online. And as you can see with the title of this blog (which I'm actually changing into something else soon) I am very much focused on natural remedies and how to live a natural and simple life.

This floods into every aspect - gentle parenting, raising disciples for Christ, "crunchy" mamas, learning intentionally at home and in community, and finding ways to fuel our passions. Much of this has stemmed from what I've outlined before in starting a natural produce farm here on our property- which the time is not yet, long story, but it will come. The more I learn about real food and natural wellness the more excited I get about it. Just like I explained with Travis' birth story (which i have yet to extensively share- long story), the more I learned about childbirth and pregnancy, the more excited I was to actually give birth, and to truly want to turn around and do it all over again - I just loved it that much! (This will be a post on its own lol!)

Yet I've also found myself feeling stuck and frozen often still, with all of life that's happening lately, and the fear associated with it. I've waited to take action on practically everything because of the fear of messing up or the fear of what others think or say. The fear of not panning out as I imagine it, or the fear of no one ever reading a word. Basing every decision or indecision on the fear of these things, or what others may or may not do because of what has happened in the past, is not a way to live. I've mentioned before about dreams about the future and books and writing and a career as a birth worker once the boys are older or working in the field of natural wellness in marketing and being an entrepreneur and professional writer in that. And when I get to thinking, it hits me that I'm letting myself hold myself back because of those fears.

When instead, it should prompt me to PRAY, then accordingly take action to be the best version of me in this crazy season. My faith has been hit hard lately, and I'm ready to get un-stuck. This season has entailed a lot of internal and external struggle, differing opinions, postpartum depression and anxiety, and just a lack of words. They haven't come as they used to, as they should. And this is a huge red flag - when the words don't come for me and I'm not writing, something is wrong. But now as I've worked through a lot of the personal narratives that were holding me back and found strength in spite of a less than ideal road to get here, I'm choosing to be the best version of me in my reality. Do you see that word? Its a choice.

Sometimes I find myself wishing this burden and haze I've been in lately was a physical ailment because it would be more easily understood than something emotional and mental. But alas, that is not the case here. And I'm honestly not sure I would want it to be so.... blatantly obvious..... because in the struggle... that means you are known and seen and affirmed and are led to face the hills and valleys in community. And while that's great in theory, while you are in the trenches, it's a terrifying thought. The fear of rejection and being fully known are wolves in sheeps clothing, as you present it as a protection for your fragile state when in reality it keeps you from being who you need to be within and perhaps even in spite of your reality. And truly sitting in this epiphany and realizing this makes me want to grow into who God created me to be, and to stop being put in a corner and feeling incapable by circumstance. Because I don't want to live like that - an inauthentic life isnt worth it.

With that said, first, that was a long winded explanation! Second, here I am. Back to writing. What about? a natural and simple life - many things that fall into this, too. Pretty soon I'll be launching a new site and will close this one. I'll be re-blogging some old posts which are relevant, and will be taking a whole new intentional direction in this endeavor, becoming serious in my writing and as an author. Yes, you read that right, author. More to come soon on that!

There are quite a few opportunities that have come my way, some in the past week, some happened some time ago that Ive been sitting on, afraid to take action (read above). But now is the time to get back at it.

And wait a minute - I didn't get too far into what a simple and natural life means to me. But don't fret---- When I launch my new site, that will be the first post!

But are you curious....? Check out this banner I made for the blog:

See you on the new site!

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